within-group variance arose between the various versions of myself, found and nurtured in the following communities, circles, convenings, lighthouses, hangouts, and whatnots: Montclair State University & CUPSI, The Fuze Poetry Slam, The Poetry Project at St. Mark’s Church, Cave Canem regional workshops, Jersey City Writers, The Watering Hole, Furious Flower Poetry Center, Zoeglossia, Bread Loaf, Rutgers-Newark, Poets & Scholars Retreat, Millay Arts, and the fine ladies of Poetry & Chill.
The life cycles of the emerging poems were witnessed, challenged, and championed by these writers, friends, and guides: Laurie Sheck, Akilah Oliver, Khadijah Queen, Ronaldo V. Wilson, Erica Hunt, Afaa Michael Weaver, L. Lamar Wilson, Greg Pardlo, Alana Benoit, Jermaine Harmon, Nadia Alexis, a. adenike phillips, Whitney French, Shalewa Mackall, Tenaja Jordan, Katherine Elllington, Jemilea Wisdom-Baaka, James Henry Knippen, Crystal Odelle, A. Van Jordan, Connie Voisine, Shiela Black, Jennifer Bartlett, Rigoberto Gonzalez, Brenda Shaughnessy, Cathy Park Hong, Jim Goodman, Airea D. Matthews, Bakar Wilson, Svetlana Kitto, Laura Wetherington, and Ashley T. Bockholdt.
To Changes Press: Bennet Bergman, Izzy Boutiette, Vance Wellenstein, thank you for your belief.
To Professor Charles Gaines, thank you for the gift of agreeing to your work being on the front cover of within-group variance. Thank you for creating a visual semantic that so completely enacts the questions I’m chasing in this book. I meant what I said in the note I sent you: “I simply can't envision the publication as complete any other way.” Thank you for believing me. Thank you for saying yes.
To Malcolm Corley, thank you for agreeing to your work being on the back cover of within-group variance. I never imagined I could have two artists on a book, and was even worried that it might not be feasible (unending thanks, again, to Bennet and Izzy on this), but when I first saw your “Teapot Self-portrait”, I knew immediately it was a perfect and beautiful counterpoint to Professor Gaines’ brilliant prerogative, and an essential closure. And as my friend, the poet Said Shaiye, would say: “Black autistic everything!”
To Akilah Oliver and Ronaldo V. Wilson, thank you for the gifts of rigorous generosity, critical play, and teaching me what it means to be taken seriously. These have followed me into every space, community, conversation, and page.
To Greg Pardlo, thank you for Callaloo. You saved me from myself.
To Khadijah Queen and L. Lamar Wilson, thank you for seeing the poet(s) within me, without me asking you to. You’ve been such faithful and patient elder siblings to me. Khadijah, many of these poems are deeply indebted to your craft. Lamar, you were the first person I ever met to share such a deep love and passion for our forebear, Bayard Rustin. Not just historical and scholarly expertise, but real, bone-deep love; the kind reserved for brothers. You two have been lodestars on my journey toward within-group variance. I can never repay you.
To Cathy Park Hong, I’m so grateful I got to work with you. In a very brief span of time, you got to see the beginning of the end of this book, and the beginning of the beginning of the next. Thank you for everything you’ve done to help me along this road, in this book, and otherwise.
To Terrance Hayes, none of this would be possible without you. Thank you for believing in this work of mine. It really does mean the world.
To my mother, Ann–I got you. I got us.
Lastly, I’ll thank the one almost as close to the beginning as my mother–Bayard Rustin. We’ve come such a long way together. I haven’t been easy. You were so patient with me–until you weren’t. And even that was a kindness. And you’re still here, though a bit smaller than I remember. I’m so glad you found me. I know you must be tired. Go on to bed now. I’m going to be ok.